its so near.

Its been a long time since I last blogged. the reason, I've said it so no point repeating. Now I'm here just to pen down some thoughts that I have, that I want to remember for the rest of my ns life, at least. Today marks the transition from pro term to joint term. today is special, I must admit.
To sum up the entire pro term, its been a really long ride since I last boarded the engineer 'train'. This train brought all 87 of us from service term cadets to joint term. I could still rmb the early days when I concluded that infantry was better, easier at least and that engineer was all boring, stores and the same routine. Now i disagree. I like its versatility, the ways things are done, the ways aims are achieved. I like the leap and bound, I like the constant forward-looking-ness in it. I can't say I love stores, but without them we are nothing unique. I like my friends there. Enghan, Kenneth, David, Davidson, Gimhock, Alex, Ben etc. They made my life there easy to live, open to talk anything we want, more importantly, we go through the same things together. Its been a while since I last had this 'brotherhood' feeling in me. All of these were the 'plus' in the engineer train.
The bad. I think it was hard to communicate with the 'people up there'. They were confusing in the way they talk, and often send mixed messages. Its definitely difficult to point it out to them, especially its already so difficult to communicate anything in the first place. Abuse was a small thing still, its the lack of transparency that I really do not like. Its like... it doesn't matter what you do behind the scenes, just have good showmanship, among them you're a hot favourite for top awards. I'm not implying the top guys aren't doing behind the scenes tasks. Its just how I see it in terms of the general, average-performing majority. The reason they said weren't true, they weren't true. So I chose not to believe them, but I truly think some top guys really deserved their placing and awards. Staff officer isn't the thing I'm really looking forward to, it isn't my strength. but live with it, yea.
Looking forward, in three weeks time, I'll be relishing my boyhood dream of standing there in the uniform, bearing my engineer vocation badge. The wait was long, I've waited for 7 years, finally I can stand there in three weeks time. I've seen my role model on that parade square 7 years ago, I've seen nicholas on that parade square 3 years ago. And 3 weeks later, it'll be my turn.